Thursday 23 June 2022

#Blogtour Loved and Missed by Susie Boyt

 Catching up and a wee bit late - it's my turn on the Blogtour Loved and Missed by Susie Boyt.

About the Author

Susie Boyt is the author of six acclaimed novels and the much-loved memoir My Judy Garland Life which was shortlisted for the PEN Ackerley Prize, staged at the Nottingham Playhouse and serialised on BBC Radio 4. She recently edited The Turn of the Screw and Other Ghost Stories by Henry James and writes columns and reviews for publications ranging from the Financial Times to American Vogue.  

Boyt is a director at the Hampstead Theatre in London. She also works for Cruse Bereavement Care. She is the daughter of Lucian Freud and the great granddaughter of Sigmund Freud. Follow @SusieBoyt on Twitter

About the book

When your beloved daughter is lost in the fog of addiction, and you make off with her baby in order to save the day, can willpower and a daring creative zeal carry you through? 

Examining the limits, disappointments and excesses of love in all its forms, Loved and Missed is a wonderfully absorbing book, full of insight and compassion, by the author of My Judy Garland Life.


And exhale.

This was a bit of a tough read for me - it mirrors some of my own journey in my own role of a Ruth. The author touches upon the constant state of battle, the complete and utter inner turmoil, and the dissociation one has to install, so accurately it is frightening. The voice in the back of your head waiting for the doorbell to ring with the worst news, and feeling guilty because it might be a relief.

Ruth feels guilty for taking care of Lily, she feels as if it could be perceived as a friendly kidnapping. Of course that is probably easier than accepting the truth, which is that the intervention saves Lily. Having to openly acknowledge that her own daughter is capable of neglect. To Ruth it is a mirror, her mothering and failure being reflected right back at her, and to everyone who knows about her situation.

Is she infallible? Is any mother? You can raise multiple tiny humans in the exact same way, and yet their interactions with the external world will all be different, as will their reactions. Some of them wander into the grasp of an illness so void of any humanity that it is difficult to look beyond the addiction, and the actions of an addict when they are willing to do anything for a hit.

This book made me sad and grateful in equal measures. Grateful that someone recognises the invisible voices and lives, and saddened that addiction leaves so many victims in its wake. Boyt is an incredibly perceptive and talented writer.

Buy Loved and Missed at Amazon Uk or go to Goodreads for any other retailer. Publisher: Virago, pub date 16th June 2022 | Paperback. Buy at Amazon com. Buy via Virago Press.

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