Today it is my turn on the BlogTour for Ask Me To Dance by Sylvia Colley. It is a heartfelt tale of healing, forgiveness and understanding. When someone deals with personal grief and anger without airing it in any way they can become an emotional ticking time-bomb.
About the Author
Sylvia Colley was born in Romsey, Hampshire. She became a teacher and spent many years as Head of English at the Purcell School in North London.
She has published a book of poetry, It’s Not What I Wanted Though, and a novel, Lights on Dark Water. Her work has been read on BBC Radio 4. She lives in Pinner, Middlesex.
About the book
Rose Gregory has suffered a devastating blow, a double bereavement from which months later she is still reeling. Sanctuary and rest are prescribed by her doctor. But when she arrives at her refuge, a dank and decaying Monastery, she finds it is not the haven promised. Despite the veneer of calm contemplation, the Monastery turns out to be a hotbed of intrigue and disharmony. Rose witnesses bullying and cruelty and ultimately in defence of the vulnerable turns to violence herself. Sylvia Colley's extraordinary understanding of a woman's struggle to deal with grief, the denial, the anger, the loneliness, is described without sentimentality. A beautifully written and moving story.
Review
'I woke to a dead soul housed inside a live body'
Rose spends a lot of time trying to escape her grief and her emotions. She is distraught on the inside and yet on the outside she appears to be cold and in control. There is only so much a body can hide until it starts to react to such an incredible strain. It takes a while for the crumbling to start, and when it does she is guided towards a place where she can find some peace.
Her most poignant moment was admitting she was frightened that her faith wouldn't move mountains at all and that she was frightened of putting God to the test, which of course equates to her doubting her faith in general. The realisation that no matter how much you pray there usually isn't a miracle waiting around the next corner. Sometimes there is no explanation or reason.
It takes Rose a while to understand that she is not just dealing with anger, she is also dealing with guilt. What if she had been there? What if she hadn't been ill that day? Did she make the right choices after the accident, and most importantly how could she forget the dead in favour of the living.
In a way I think Rose believes her loss is a punishment and the confirmation of the lack of love and understanding she also encountered as a child. You are not good enough to be loved, hence being punished by such an immense loss. The anger about her past has always smouldered deep inside her, but the loss of her loved ones is the striking of the match, and the events in the retreat are fuel which ignites and unleashes the fierce storm of anger within her.
Ask Me To Dance is a story about grief, faith and pain. It is about questioning each moment in our lives that somehow forms our personality and the choices we make in our lives. When something or someone destroys the imagined foundations of our existence, some of us rebuild the structure, but some people give up completely.
Colley keeps it simple and relatable. This could happen to any person at any given time. She approaches the topic of faith without being preachy, bullying without crass incidents and healing without sudden heavenly revelations. It is an endearing tale written with a lot of compassion, and yet very down-to-earth.
Buy Ask Me To Dance at Amazon Uk or go to Goodreads for any other retailer.
Publisher Muswell Press
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