You Will Not Have My Hate by Antoine Leiris

I remember reading Antoine's Facebook status and thinking how right he was, and how poignant his words were in the aftermath of the Paris attacks on the 13th of November 2015.

More so than those of any politician, religious leader, bystander or any other person personally affected by the atrocities.

I knew I would find it an emotional read. Antoine Leiris writes as he feels and experiences. His words and descriptions are focused solely on his son and himself.

In the aftermath, and during such attacks, the focus tends to be on the who, the why and the how. How many are dead? How exactly did they die? Who took their lives and why? Leiris doesn't do that at all. Instead we get the reality of loved ones learning to deal with the absence the death has created. The normality of having to cook, go to sleep, return to work and of having to live without the person they loved.

Antoine & Melvil

The read was accompanied by tears, which wasn't a surprise, as I said I knew it would be an emotional read. I was surprised by what made me cry though. It wasn't when Antoine was finally reunited with his wife after two days or the funeral. It was the baby food pots.

The compassion of the parents in the nursery school, and the way he accepts their need to help. Their need supersedes his own and that of his child.

It's a strange thing grief, especially in the case of mass tragedy. It often becomes about the bystanders and those on the periphery, as opposed to those who are actually involved in the incidents. It's almost as if you and I need to feel and work through the emotional distress,because the stark reality of the event is so frightening. Subconsciously we are glad it wasn't us, but simultaneously we feel ashamed and guilty for those thoughts. The guilt is appeased via compassionate words, gestures and actions.

Hence the cards, letters, the baby pots, food and messages he receives. Antoine describes this process really well without actually coming out and saying it. Even within these pages he is still careful of taking away from others. He isn't necessarily braver than anyone else, he perhaps just has better insight into what everyone else needs in this awful situation. Hopefully he can learn to put his own needs and those of Melvil first.

The book is a lovely testament to his wife Hélène, his son Melvil and himself. A fresh breath of humanity embedded in a whirlwind of grief and loss. A short yet very poignant read.

Hélène & Melvil

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All Fall Down by Tom Bale

Rob isn't exactly the type of character who elicits sympathy or empathy. He seems to have too many secrets and dodgy deals going on in the background.

A seemingly random act of violence throws the family into a quagmire of danger, and Rob into a tailspin of panic and guilt. What does he know that he isn't telling anyone? Will his silence put his family into the kind of dangerous situation you can't emerge unscathed from?

What Bale does try to examine, is the question of nature vs nurture when it comes to the propensity to violence. Can trauma, fear or an extreme situation make someone cross boundaries other people wouldn't or is it simply a question of DNA? Does abuse and violence rewire our brains and teach us coping mechanisms or rather a lack of impulse control?

From a technical standpoint Bale delivers, however the read just didn't do it for me. I found it slightly disjointed and the characters didn't evoke any interest. Now that might just be his personal style, a slightly abstract looking inwards from the outside type of style. Personally I would have liked to have seen more emphasis on the girl, her actions and the why. More explanation of the why of the group and their agenda perhaps.

Bale has some interesting ideas, albeit it slightly disturbing ones, and he makes the reader question certain things. He insists that we look beyond the facade of normality and our presumptions.

Buy All Fall Down at Amazon UK or go to Goodreads for any other retailer.

The Girl Before by J.P. Delaney

This review is based on the sneak peek of The Girl Before.

Well I have to hand it to Delaney, the story is somewhere between intriguing, disturbing and 'don't go into the basement there is creepy music playing in the background' kind of gut instinct evoking.

It's interesting to watch both Jane and Emma decide to shelve all their gut reactions and the warning signs, just because the house is a perfect example of 21st century futuristic design.

Personally it would be a no no for me. The intrusive questionnaire is just way too revealing and the really odd rules are huge red flags. On top of that I don't think the mega minimalistic approach to living would be my cup of tea.

Imagine if right here and right now you had to make a list of the most important items to take with you, and you have to leave everything else behind. Then imagine living a life restricted by rules, such as no mess, clutter, accessories or random objects. The deal would have been null and void as soon as I read the 'no books' rule. Now that is just cruel.

It is suitably eerie and Delaney reels the reader in with the unusual premise and the promise of even stranger things to come. I can't wait to read what happens next.

Pre-order/Buy The Girl Before at Amazon Uk or go to Goodreads for any other retailer.

The Devil's Work by Mark Edwards

If there is anything to take away from this story then it is definitely to trust your gut instinct. If it walks and talks like a duck then chances are it probably is a duck. Or in this case perhaps just a manipulative and ambitious colleague.

Sophie should have left the past where it was, despite the fabulous career prospects. Sometimes you should just leave dirty little secrets hidden instead of handing someone a shovel to dig them up.

Make no mistake Sophie seems to have plenty of sordid little mistakes and secrets she would rather forget and keep to herself. Unfortunately not everyone feels the same way, and a twisted game of cat and mouse ensues.

I must admit I was more than a little annoyed during the scene with Sophie's child. The way everyone treated her like some escaped lunatic. Her reaction wasn't odd considering the circumstances.

But then that tends to be Sophie's problem overall, the way people are very eager to accept failure on her part and assume the worst. It takes her a while to start to question everything and also herself.

Edwards does a really good job of making the reader question the whole scenario and even the main character. Red herrings galore and buried secrets are his thing.

Buy The Devil's Work at Amazon Uk or go to Goodreads for any other retailer.

An Almond For a Parrot by Wray Delaney

I adored the way Delaney mixed an aura of Victorian era with a hint of modern. For me it definitely had shades of Fanny Hill and Moll Flanders, and to be fair the author does give the books a nudge, wink and its dues.

How to give you an idea of what this book is like? Imagine the aura and setting of an old book mixed with themes of urban fantasy, magic, ghosts and necromancy with an 19th century setting.

The story starts with our main character sat in jail reflecting upon the past and the choices that have led to her facing the noose. The reader is then invited to follow Tully Truegood, as she is taught to control the passion within her.

She is taught the art of pleasure and how to pleasure others, which unfortunately also means heartbreak and disappointment. In her profession it can also mean violence and having to endure or watch violations and intimate betrayals.

Subtly interwoven into the story is a fascinating element of necromancy and ghostly magic. Tully can see the sins of the past, the horrors that haunt us and the mistakes everyone keeps very well hidden. It's a talent and also a curse.

Delaney also writes with the eloquence of a writer of the 19th century. Her writing goes down like hot chocolate on a cold day. It's simply a pleasure to read.

Hopefully this was the first of many for Delaney. I know I will be both recommending this book and looking forward to the next.

Buy An Almond For a Parrot at Amazon Uk or go to Goodreads for any other retailer.

The Spy by Paulo Coelho

I think this is definitely a story worth telling. Mata Hari has been given quite a bad rap. Convicted and executed based on lies and circumstantial evidence.

You know what they say, if you repeat something often enough eventually it becomes the truth. The myth of Mata Hari is ten times bigger than the actual boring and yet also sordid truth.

The truth is she became a pawn in a political game during WW1. She was the means to an end to make sure a certain high profile individual person could remain relevant and in a position of power. The only positive aspect of this tale of betrayal is that he got his dues soon after her death.

Coelho writes from her perspective and alsp from that of her lawyer. Their voices make the reader feel as if they are listening to them tell their story in a personal one-on-one setting.

What emerges is the tragedy of a young girl who was abused at an early age and who fled into the arms of an abusive husband. Then in the strict confines of a colonial lifestyle she lives through the murder of her child and subsequently the loss of her surviving child via a custody battle.

It really is no wonder she ends up embarking on a path of self-destructive behaviour. She equates attention and sex with love, because she has never experienced anything else. Reinventing her whole persona was a way of escaping the mundane, the pain and the stark reality of her life.

Coelho readily admits to changing the chronological order of quite a few events to suit the narrative. Some of those events, for instance the birth order of her children, made little sense but hey ho artistic license and all that.

Again, it's time the great myth of the seductress and manipulative spy was dispelled. Margaretha Geertruida Zelle (Mata Hari) or Griet was a victim of circumstance and of the men who chose to use her as an object and a political tool.

After reading this I feel pity for her and also angered by the way the myth is still alive and well after all these years, but then perhaps Mata Hari would have preferred the mythical image. Margaretha perhaps not so much. She would probably have chosen not to be shot at dawn by a firing squad.

Buy The Spy at Amazon Uk or go to Goodreads for any other retailer.

Mata Hari

Curse on the Land by Faith Hunter

I've read and enjoyed Hunter's Jane Yellowrock series, and liked her ideas and writing style.

In the Soulwood series Hunter goes above and beyond when it comes to the intricate world-building and plot-weaving. It is anything other than a light and fluffy urban fantasy.

As a main character Nell is quite unusual. Growing up in a polygamist cult church and married off as a young girl to one of the elders, I'd say that is a very unusual background indeed.

Even more fascinating is the fact Nell and some of her siblings aren't human and have no idea what they are. She is inexplicably drawn to the land, as is the land to her. Her blood seems to feed the soil that surrounds her.

The team tasked with solving supernatural events has accepted Nell into the inner sanctum, but she remains wary and uncertain of the their individual motives. Saying that, there are members of the team who have developed more than a passing interest in Nell, something she is unprepared for and yet enjoys it at the same time.

It is a fast-paced story with an intriguing premise and plenty of opportunity for further development. I enjoyed the sheer depth of this read and will be following the series with great interest.

Buy Curse on the Land at Amazon UK or go to Goodreads for any other retailer.